Based on 2 Samuel 14:1-24a (New King James Version)
“So Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was concerned about Absalom. And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman, and said to her, ‘Please pretend to be a mourner, and put on mourning apparel; do not anoint yourself with oil, but act like a woman who has been mourning a long time for the dead. Go to the king and speak to him in this manner.’ So Joab put the words in her mouth. And when the woman of Tekoa spoke to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and prostrated herself, and said, ‘Help, O king!’ Then the king said to her, ‘What troubles you?’ And she answered, ‘Indeed I am a widow, my husband is dead. Now your maidservant had two sons; and the two fought with each other in the field, and there was no one to part them, but the one struck the other and killed him. And now the whole family has risen up against your maidservant, and they said, ‘Deliver him who struck his brother, that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed; and we will destroy the heir also.’ So they would extinguish my ember that is left, and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the earth.’ Then the king said to the woman, ‘Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.’ And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, ‘My lord, O king, let the iniquity be on me and on my father’s house, and the king and his throne be guiltless.’ So the king said, ‘Whoever says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall not touch you anymore.’ Then she said, ‘Please let the king remember the Lord your God, and do not permit the avenger of blood to destroy anymore, lest they destroy my son.’ And he said, ‘As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.’ Therefore the woman said, ‘Please, let your maidservant speak another word to my lord the king.’ And he said, ‘Say on.’ So the woman said: ‘Why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God? For the king speaks this thing as one who is guilty, in that the king does not bring his banished one home again. For we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him. Now therefore, I have come to speak of this thing to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid. And your maidservant said, ‘I will now speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his maidservant. For the king will hear and deliver his maidservant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the inheritance of God.’ Your maidservant said, ‘The word of my lord the king will now be comforting; for as the angel of God, so is my lord the king in discerning good and evil. And may the Lord your God be with you.’ ’ Then the king answered and said to the woman, ‘Please do not hide from me anything that I ask you.’ And the woman said, ‘Please, let my lord the king speak.’ So the king said, ‘Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?’ And the woman answered and said, ‘As you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has spoken. For your servant Joab commanded me, and he put all these words in the mouth of your maidservant. To bring about this change of affairs your servant Joab has done this thing; but my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of the angel of God, to know everything that is in the earth.’ And the king said to Joab, ‘All right, I have granted this thing. Go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom.’ Then Joab fell to the ground on his face and bowed himself, and thanked the king. And Joab said, ‘Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord, O king, in that the king has fulfilled the request of his servant.’ So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. And the king said, ‘Let him return to his own house, but do not let him see my face.’…”
If there is one thing that is difficult, it is raising children. There is nothing easy about it. Having children happens in many different ways, or for many different reasons. And most of the time, they are had for the wrong reasons, which is why they often become an even greater challenge as the years go by. Some people have children to fulfill personal desires, or because they feel it is a stage of life they need to complete, like a checklist. Some wives have children hoping to fix marital problems. Some people have children because they want to take advantage of them in some way. Some people have them by accident, although we all know it is not an accidental process, but quite the opposite, very deliberate. And there are a few people who even have them as a result of rape. Ultimately, children come into the world for all sorts of reasons.
So, what is the right reason? To arrive at the right reason, it is necessary that both parents (because a child should only be brought into the world within the bond of marriage, unless it is by adoption) have a right relationship before God. Why? Because everything must ultimately be done to fulfill God's will, for His glory. If there is another reason, then it is not right, even if it is done out of love between two people, because even in that circumstance, although it may seem right, it is not, because it is done out of carnality. And according to the Word, everything sown to the flesh reaps corruption. Nevertheless, however a child comes into being, they are ultimately an inheritance from God, and that is a great responsibility, and must be taken as such. This is what the Word says: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.” Psalm 127:3-4. Children can be like arrows, but an arrow can be useful to you or can be used against you. It all depends on its direction. This was the problem King David faced, who had many issues with his children, so much so that one son (Amnon) raped his half-sister (Tamar), and Absalom killed his brother Amnon for this vile act. And although Absalom was brought back, as we read today, he became David's enemy, usurping the kingdom and seeking to kill his father. Absalom died also, killed by none other than Joab, the same Joab who used this woman from Tekoa to bring Absalom back, to lift David’s spirits, because the kingdom was sinking due to his grief.
No matter your reason or the circumstances in which you had children, you have an incredible divine responsibility, and God will hold you accountable. In fact, we will be held accountable for everything, but especially for children, as it is written: “Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men…” 2 Corinthians 5:9-11a. The Lord commands this: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. ‘And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7. Now, will doing this guarantee a good outcome in this temporary world? Maybe, maybe not. What should matter to you the most is what God thinks of you, and that you have the Lord's support when things get tough. So, are you glorifying God with the way you raise your children? Lord bless! John. God bless Israel!